The airport

9pm--After saying "Goodbye" (with some difficulty) to Ahmed and Amelia, we started the arduous process of going through the Nigerian check-in procedure. There were a total of 8 checkpoints that I can remember, including one where I was told that I had committed a grave error by not checking in my wooden statues with the Museum of National Antiquities.The two guards simultaneously, as if on cue, pointed to a rickety wooden sign which appeared to be at least 100 years old and hung askew on a concrete pillar behind them, stamped with the same message. The flimsy wooden tablet, crookedly hanging reflected,at least in my mind, the level of the gaurd's true concern about the two statues they had unearthed in my suitcase. I could tell that they had done this act before. I had never heard of the Museum of Natural Anquities. In fact I wasn't sure that such a museum existed. I wasn't sure where the gaurds were going with this, so I played it cool and they eventually let me go, despite my "sin."

10:30 pm--we are at the Boarding Gate, after going through our final 2 security checks. The fatigue starts to set in as Devin, Sandy, and I plop down on the blue metal benches. My mind a bit of a mush by this point, is easily distracted as my eyes wander over the boarding area. I am transfixed by multiple protuberant 2" inch high black pieces of rubber protruding from and screwed into the tile floor every few feet. Other than testing feet to eye coordination, what function could these multiple rubber stoppers serve? Perhaps an artistic attempt to simulate mushrooms at the boarding gate? Part of the randomness...

My sense of relaxation slowly starts to erode as our scheduled boarding time passes without comment from the staff of North American Airlines. I wonder why an airline that serves North Africa, with its fleet of 10 planes as claimed (Devin and I thought they surely had only one plane), would name itself "North American Airlines." Are they are trying to emulate our airlines not only in name but also consistent delays?

1:45pm--2 hours past the scheduled boarding time, and an employee at the Gate announces cheerily and sharply--in the tone of a bugle call and with the ubiquitous smile of Nigerians: "North American Airlines Flight 134" is having mechanical problems. We are working on it." Well at least we finally know why we are delayed, but there is no indication if or when the problem might be resolved.

Fortunately and inexplicably, Devin's cellphone, a Samsung Blackjack, is working for the first time since the beginning of this trip. This is a rather exciting development. Unfortunately we can't figure how to get the "+'"sign for international calls to come up. Devin recalls that he was able to text message his wife, Laurie, last week without the plus sign. So we try and text Laurie as well as Dolores Craig, travel arranger for Orbis based in New York City. The dice don't roll our way however, as the error messages abound from the Blackjack.

After numerous unsuccessful texting attempts, I decided that I must get into a zen relationship with the cryptic keyboard and "play" the Blackjack, instead of it playing me--like Einstein riding the photon to come up with his Theory of Relativity, E=MC2. Entering into a trance-like state, clarity strikes as I mentally ride the GSM bandwidth..I see what I must do to materialize the '+" sign on the keyboard--the mark of cultural literacy among the international cognescti and the culturally hip..."Ah ha" I exclaim as I push on zero and count to three.
Sandy, thinking that we have received a text message on our communication device, promptly stands up to walk over. At precisely this same moment, a large African flying insect flys right by Sandy's nose at rapid velocity, nearly knocking her glasses off and setting her back down in its wake.Another example of the random nature of the day.

+ sign leading the way, we are able to call Dolores Craig's contact number based on the information given us by Amelia..but unexpectedly we get someone other than Dolores on the other end. After a bit of oblique conversation (I don't want to say I am calling from Lagos, Nigeria as this could raise suspicion and result in her hanging up. She is our lifeline to Ms. Craig-must keep her on the line). We determine that I am calling Dolores Craig's friend. She puts me on hold and tries to call Dolores' cell phone. Given inernational cellphone calling rates, it is decided that she will keep trying to call Dolores and have her call us. Wait 20 minutes but don't hear back. We are in a bit of a dilemma as we don't want to bother Ms. Craig,, and don't want to bother Ahmed and Amelia who are both asleep in the "Hardly Suites" (true name) as they have worked so unbelievably hard for the Orbis team since we have been here the past two weeks.

Tonight probably represents the first night of real sleep for them. However, we do want to get on the next flight, which is a Virgin Atlantic Flight in the morning. lest we be stranded in Lagos, officially rated as the worst airport on the Earth, for an indeterminate amount of time. Our anxiety partially stems from difficulties another Orbis team member, Alicia, had in getting back to the States after missing a flight. (Of course she was flying from Nigeria to Columbia--two countries that are not exactly on the "no crime" radar of international transport authorities). The other concern of course is the connecting flights from New York to each of our individual destinations. We process all the options and resolve to relax and wait a bit longer.


Around 2:30 am we suddenly note large plumes of black smoke coming from the front door of the plane. Images of our airplane exploding into a ball of flames rush in as we rush over to the window to get a better view. We can see that it is actually petrol fumes comng from a large portable generator adjacent to the plane. Whew--big sigh of relief, sort of...I mean the airline surely wouldn't purposely allow such a visible anxiety-provoking "smoking" of the plane on purpose. The large clouds of black smoke keep recurring. There must be something terribly wrong and out of control. I could be wrong but I don't think that an American based airline would allow billowing clouds of black smoke to envelop a plane as the passengers-to-be looked on. Might..I don't know..make one think twice about boarding....Confidence levels indeed drop precipitously and I can hear the faint murmur of discontent growing increasingly audible as more and more passengers are pulling out their cell phones and trying to control the escalting sense of alarm --" Book me on the Virgin Air flight tomorrow am" seems to be the identical theme of these multiple conversations--an idea we have been considering as well--Now we are thinking that there will be a direct correlation to the availability of the Virgin flight seats and the height and duration of the black smoke continuing to envelop our vessel of return to the New World.

Devin and Sandy both seem content to wait a bit longer, while my fingers, holding the Blackjack,are itching to call Amelia and Ahmed--our "special ops."

3:00 am-- Devin makes the comment: "This is looking worse." As the word "worse" is being formed by his buccal cavity and not even vocalized yet, my fingers are already calling Ahmed's number. I wake the poor guy out of a deep sleep--pretty much as I expected I would, and explain the situation. He, as consistently as ever, responds with great kindness as he simultaneously and quickly throws off the mantle of sleepiness to jet into a "high alert" state of consciousness.
He will book flights on Virgin for us through the internet. He rapidly fires instructions:
"Find a local Nigerian phone as phone calls from Devin's U.S. sim card phone will be too expensive. In the event your flight does take off leave your phone on until the last minute before take off. On arrival to JFK check your email to find your new connecting flight information. I will call Amelia immediately after we hang up to enlist her assistance in obtaining seats. We will continue to contact Dolores as well."

I am marveling at his (and Amelia's) ability to yet again instantaneously shift into crisis solving mentality as I take mental notes on the above. I am sure that he either was totally unconscious from fatigue or dreaming of meeting up with his wife and two beautiful children in Cairo tomorrow when he received my call. Unbelievable people he and Amelia are. I feel much better, having these guys on our sides.

3:10am--Good news. An airplane representative (different one this time), crisply, happily, and authoritatively announces that everyone can now get on the plane. The whoops of excitement give way to a mad rush to the boarding gate. I call Ahmed and Amelia to tell them the seemingly good news. Ten minutes elapse... and we start to see the passengers stream back from the boarding gate--off the plane! The previous murmurs of frustration have now reached full shouting level as people retake their seats in the boarding gate area. The potential for the scene to get ugly starts to rear its head. We inform Ahmed of the latest development. By this time it is nearly 4:00am. Ahmed says he and Amelia are just going to come to the airport! Wow!!! I cannot believe the sacrifice and dedication of these guys. In fact I am so struck by their dedication to our welfare that this sentiment not only ameliorates but even supercedes any anxiety about how and when we will get back across the Atlantic.

Around 4:30am another airline employee in the same sort of stilted and Nigerian accented, cheerful delivery announces "North American Ailines Flight 431 will now begin boarding!." Surreally, there is no reference to the previous aborting attempt, nor explanation of why there has now been a 4 and 1/2 hour delay. At this point a few intrepid passengers tentatively head on to the boarding ramp; others, whose anxiety has now been combined with a liberal dose of indignity have to practically be coaxed to get on the plane--a total reversal of the chaotic boarding process that is usually the case for flights in the developing world and which occured on the first boarding attempt.

Once all the passengers, collectively bound by a huge leap of faith in the airline (and an astounding ability to shut out visions of aviation disaster) are on the plane, a very high-pitched whirring sound followed by staccato, grating "knife like" sounds (reminiscent of a horror movie soundtrack) rises to incessantly pound our eardrums at very high volumes. These are not the normal sounds associated with an airplane starting up--more akin to what might imagine--"mechanical failure" to sound like. I wonder if we are unknowing participants in a psychological experiment to see how much toruture can be administered to prospective passengers and still have them board the plane...

The captain gets on the P.A. and mumbles something which basically sounds like "blah, blah, blah" to me--something about the need to replace a battery. I am thinking that is really weird. Is it like jump-starting your car? Pull out the jumper cables, attach to monster generator, and if the battery doesn't start, run down the local Sears store for a replacement? Where do you get a replacement battery for a jet at 3am in Lagos, Nigeria? I don't know. Are my sleep-deprived neurons are at this point lacking in coherent connectivity, or I am in the set of the next movie version of "Airplane." Obsessing over whether or not key neurotransmitters levels are depleted or whether I really am a character in a slapstick comedy and just don't know it, I settle into my seat, next to Devin. (Nurse Sandy, due to an error at the scheduling gate, is not seated with us. Another random absurdity, as she was standing with me at the ticket counter, plainly visible to the ticketing agent when I announced that "all three of us would like to be seated together. Several minutes later (security check #5 out of 10 I believe it was) we did notice that she had been assigned a seat far from us. We felt that in the overall scheme of things, it was a minor inconvenice. Little did we know that was a sign--a sign; yes (sigh), a sign...)

We settle in, and Devin, peering through the window, notes that the airplane is unable to taxi backwards. A vehicle is called in to the runway to tow this tube of steel in which we will be hurtling over the Atlantic during the next 11 hours... backwards... Now the pilot is testing the wing flaps. Up, down, up, down--feel like I am watching a marionette show. Is the Captain really going through a safety check, or is he a really happy guy having fun? Is it hot in here of are my just catecholaminses just a little ramped? . Actually, at this point the butterflies in my stomach can't be roused --they have all gone to sleep. Some part of my consciousness, which is going up and down in rhythm with the wing flaps, and in parallel with my nodding head, keeps saying in a soothing manner "Relax, this is all a dream."

The Captain interrupts my slumber to cheerily announce in the exuberant tone that has become a trademark of this airlines, "We are almost ready to go...We just have to wait for paperwork in order to document the previous problems." Heavens to Betsy--Paperwork? Yes he said, "paperwork." "Can't you see that we are weary, hungry, sleep-deprived and..and...and... smell bad" I want to say. Well I for one sure am glad that we are committed to protocol. Definitely agree that we wouldn't want to say start out 5 hour delayed/11 hour journey without filling out the paperwork.... After all what possibly could be more important right now? Surely not 300 passengers mentally and physically fatigued, bordering on the edge of lunacy... and on track to miss all our connecting flights " from J.F.K.. "Should only be another 10 or 15 minutes to get that paperwork!" the same voice cheerily announces. Do they have some kind of Happy acoustical filter in the P.A. system, or is the Captain just a little too out of touch with reality for all of our good I wonder as I slump down into my seat, not quite yet in a foetal position..

Fianlly the plane starts to move in fits and starts. Or am I just imaging this as I dazedly gaze out the airplane window. It is real. The plane is picking up speed.
At 5:15 am, a "slight delay" from the 11:45 pm scheduled time, we are lifiting off....