Giving Till It Hurts

But nonprofits say they are receiving an increasing number of "stretch" gifts, donations seemingly out of proportion to the givers' resources. To the shock or chagrin of friends and family, these gifts often require donors to make sacrifices or at least live more modestly than their income would allow.

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People who follow philanthropy say donors like Ms. Hergenhan and Ms. Kajitani set examples that extend far beyond the gifts they make, simply by causing those around them, including children, family members and friends, to at least reconsider how much they give and how they might feel if they gave more.

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Academics who study wealth say more aging Baby Boomers are choosing charity to add meaning to their lives -- and to get a buzz that lasts longer than the kick that comes from splurging on a designer watch or expensive car.

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Not all family members are thrilled by these stretch gifts, however. Neurosurgeon James Doty recently gave stock currently valued at about $28 million to charity -- a gift that represents about 99% of his net worth. As a result, instead of retiring early Dr. Doty will have to save money to put his 3-year-old son, Sebastian, through college, and to fund retirement.

"I would have kept at least some of it for us," says Dr. Doty's wife, Masha Zhdanovich Doty. Though she sends money every month to relatives in the former Soviet Union -- "I believe in charity, especially in helping people directly" -- she wasn't completely supportive of her husband's giving. At ages 39 and 51 respectively, she and Dr. Doty need to plan carefully for the future of their young family, she says.